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Non-Court Dispute Resolution
There are lots of different ways to resolve problems without going to court. Here are some ways that involve helpful third parties.
MIAMS
In most cases you must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (a MIAM) before you will be allowed to start a court case, although there are exceptions (for example because it is too urgent to wait or because of evidence of domestic abuse). See Leaflet CB2 for details of what the court classes as “urgent”.
A MIAM is NOT mediation. It is just a meeting with a mediator where you can find out more about mediation and other forms of resolving issues outside court, such as through arbitration or collaborative law, and give some thought to whether it might be useful or appropriate for your family.
At a MIAM, the mediator will:
Talk to you about mediation and other forms of family dispute resolution
Obtain information about your family circumstances and issues arising from the separation.
Assess the safety and suitability of mediation.
Discuss your next steps, including the value of seeking legal advice and of identifying other forms of support, including financial and emotional support.
You usually don’t attend a MIAM with the other person, so there really is nothing to worry about. If after going to the MIAM either of you or the mediator decide you do not want to mediate the mediator will sign a certificate to say that it is not suitable.
However, you may not need to go to a MIAM in the first place if there is evidence of domestic abuse. It is useful to look at the green pages in form C100 to see what situations exempt you from a MIAM.
If you or your ex are eligible for legal aid, the MIAM should be free. Some mediators offer government vouchers to pay for mediation too.
Couples' counselling
This might seem an odd thing to include but couple's counselling (often called marriage guidance) can help you work together as you end your relationship. Rather than being about saving the relationship, it can help each of you focus on your new lives and what decisions need to be made to separate well. See Relate for more info.
Mediation
Mediation can help you reach an agreement about disputed issues arising from your separation (e.g. children, finances, communication). Mediation is voluntary. Mediators are impartial, do not advise you, and do not impose a decision upon you. If you are on a low income, or if your ex is on a low income you are both likely to qualify for free mediation through legal aid or for children cases the government's mediation voucher scheme. Mediation often works best if you have some legal advice alongside it, and it is possible to ask the court to convert a mediated agreement into a court order for enforceability.
Some mediators will see children.
Mediation is not always appropriate if the situation involves risk of harm, but it depends on the situation and a mediator will screen for this and be able to tell you if mediation is appropriate. Most family mediation involves the parties sitting in a room with the mediator, but there is also online mediation and shuttle mediation, which is where the mediator goes between you and your ex when you are in different rooms. If the choice is between representing yourself and mediation, because you can't afford a lawyer, mediation with an experienced mediator who is aware of the background is likely to be safer.
If you are sorting out financial issues on divorce, it's best to use a mediator who is also a solicitor. This is because a judge will need to approve the agreement and turn it into an order, and this will be only be done if the judge is happy that the agreement is within a range of fairness.
You can find lots more information about family mediation at the Family Mediation Council website or on the Resolution website (Resolution is an organisation for family lawyers).
Arbitration
Arbitration is where a person, the arbitrator, acts like a judge and hears evidence and decides the case. You can hire the arbitrator you want, and they are often barristers or retired judges. The benefit of this is that where the case is really specialist, such as a divorce involving a farm, you can find an arbitrator who has experience of that type of case. Other benefits are privacy, and speed (because you can arbitrate more quickly than you can go through the court process). Arbitration can be expensive, but generally less expensive than court. The cost depends on the arbitrator's fees and whether you will have a lawyer for the case.
Arbitration is voluntary, but once you have agreed to go to arbitration an arbitrator will make a binding decision that can be enforced in court.
You can find more information on the Institute of Family Law Arbitrators' website.
Collaborative law
In a collaborative law arrangement, each party instructs separate lawyers who are trained as Collaborative Lawyers. All of you work together in a friendly and helpful way to reach agreement and usually everything is done in a series of meetings. This often includes agreeing a central pot of money to pay the lawyers. As things are being done by agreement, you can be more creative in solutions than a court could be.
If an agreement can’t be reached the collaborative lawyers drop out and the parties have to instruct fresh lawyers for any court case that follows.
You can find more information on the Resolution website.
Round table meetings
A round table meeting is when the parties and their lawyers agree to set aside a day to come together and attempt to negotiate a settlement in an attempt to avoid court. It can be a quicker way to resolve things than an exchange of letters or emails.
Private FDR
If you are involved in sorting out the finances on your divorce, then one of the stages of the court is a Financial Dispute Resolution appointment. An FDR is a hearing where a judge hears a summary of the parties' positions and gives guidance to them about what outcomes are likely or sensible. This should help you to reach agreement, because it's an indication of what is likely to happen if the case ends up at a final hearing.
A private FDR is when the parties pay an experienced lawyer, or retired or part-time judge to carry out a private version of this with the aim of reaching a settlement about finances. It is most often used where there are significant assets or a particular need for privacy. It can be very useful in cutting through some of the delays in the actual court process, and therefore encouraging a settlement, and it enables the parties to hire a specialist if they have unusual assets or concerns.