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What is domestic abuse?
The Domestic Abuse Act 2021 says that domestic abuse is when one person engages in:
Physical or sexual abuse
Violent of threatening behaviour
Controlling or coercive behaviour
Economic abuse, which means behaviour that has a substantial adverse [negative] effect on your ability to acquire, use or maintain money or other property, or obtain goods or services.
Psychological, emotional, or other abuse
The behaviour has to be between people who are aged 16+ and are “personally connected” to one another. It's this connection that makes it domestic abuse rather than any other kind of abuse. It doesn’t matter whether the behaviour is one-off, or a course of conduct.
Most types of domestic abuse will also be criminal in some way, the crimes might have slightly different definitions.
Personally connected
To be domestic abuse, rather than another kind of abuse, the abuser and victim-survivor have to be “personally connected”. The law says this is when
They are or were married or civil partners
They are or were engaged to be married or have a civil partnership
They have been in an intimate personal relationship with one another
They are both parents of or have parental responsibility for the same child
They are relatives who are father, mother, stepfather, stepmother, son, daughter, stepson, stepdaughter, grandmother, grandfather, grandson or granddaughter of the victim-survivor or of that person’s spouse, former spouse, civil partner or former civil partner], or brother, sister, uncle, aunt, niece, nephew or first cousin (including half-blood and in-laws) of the victim-survivor or of that person’s spouse, former spouse, civil partner or former civil partner.
Any person in the list above who is a relative of someone you cohabit with. Cohabitation means living together as though you were husband and wife, not just flatmates.
This list just defines when abuse is domestic. If you want to apply for a non-molestation order or an occupation order, you need to fit into slightly different categories.
Leaving safely
Although you may leave in an emergency, if you are able to leave in a planned way you will find useful information from Women’s Aid on creating a safe exit plan and what to expect when you leave, as well as information about refuges.
There is a guide to your legal options on the Rights of Women site.
Covering your tracks online and avoiding surveillance
Abusers may seek to control your activity both online and offline. Women’s Aid has a really good page with instructions on how to cover your tracks online.
Sources of local help and information
NIDAS is the Norfolk Integrated Domestic Abuse Service. It is a good first place to contact. When you contact them, a trained Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA) will complete a risk assessment with you. If you are a standard risk of domestic abuse, they will tell you what support is available locally and how to access it. If you are assessed as being at medium or high risk of domestic abuse, they will give you an IDVA who will help you with a plan for safety and talk to you about the different support that NIDAS can offer.
You can ring NIDAS on 0300 561 0555 or text 07860 063464 or email referrals@nidasnorfolk.co.uk. You can also complete a self-referral form.
Norfolk Community Law Service has a family and domestic abuse service and offers free meetings to advise on whether to make an application for a non-molestation order and/or an occupation order.
Leeway is an independent charity that helps adults and children experiencing domestic abuse in Norfolk and Suffolk. They run refuges.
You can ring Leeway on 0300 561 0077 or email them on adviceandsupport@leewaynwa.org.uk. They also run a livechat from their website.
Daisy Programme covers Breckland and is available to men and women. They offer a ten week Freedom Programme to help victim-survivors identify potential perpetrators in new relationships. They also offer support groups and individual counselling to victim-survivors of domestic abuse or sexual abuse. They run a course to give parents who have suffered domestic abuse the confidence, skills, and knowledge to raise healthy, happy children.
You can contact them on 01953 880903 or email help@daisyprogramme.org.uk
Pandora Project supports vulnerable women and children in Norfolk. They offer an 8-week recovery programme, Open the Box, online and face-to-face. The course helps victim-survivors build confidence and understand the tactics abusers use to keep control. Pandora also provides support to the LGBT+ community including transpeople of any gender, in partnership with Norfolk LGBT+ Project.
You can contact them through the contact form on their website.
Dawn’s New Horizon helps men and women in the Broadland area. They offer a wide range of practical support including form-filling and provision of emergency household goods and toys, food parcels and even help with DIY to help make a new home comfortable and secure. They also offer one to one counselling or group therapy.
You can contact them on 07854 044680 or 01603 927717 or email enquiries@dawnsnewhorizon.org.uk
Flows helps those who have experienced domestic abuse. They provide free legal advice over the telephone or email on the best steps to take to protect themselves. They only assist women.
Telephone 0203 745 7707, email: flows@justice.org.uk, Online contact form.
Mankind Initiative helps male victims of domestic abuse. They are a national charity. Their number is 0808 800 1170 which is free and will not show on your bills.
Respect Men’s Advice Line is for male victims of domestic abuse. You can call them on 0808 8010327 which is free and will not show on your bills. They also offer webchat. They offer interpreters and Relay for those unable to hear or speak.
Refuge is a national charity that offers a 24-hour helpline. Their freephone number is 0808 2000 247. They have interpreters available for those who need another language and offer support in British Sign Language.
There are many other organisations including some focusing on specific types of abuse or older people, or those in minority groups. You can find a list here.